Today is the day after our annual time to “spring forward” and as usual, I’m feeling a little grumpy. Not because my sleep patterns are so easily disrupted that I wake up feeling like the living dead.  The reality is that I can usually adjust to the time difference, with a few extra caffeinated beverages (yes, I know they tell you NOT to do this). My main issue with this clock adjusting ritual is that it seems so unnecessary.

Daylight Saving Time arose out of a need to conserve energy during wartime, in an era before we had so much technology that allowed us to expend energy well beyond sunset. Our evening lives have changed dramatically from even 20 or 30 years ago — that extra hour of light isn’t necessarily saving us much when you look at the science.  In the summer alone, consider our use of air conditioning, which has become common in households across all socioeconomic spheres and has to make a negative dent in that “saving.”

Sometimes, I wish I lived in one of those states or Indiana counties that just ignored the concept and let everyone have their circadian rhythms to themselves. The federal law allows states to enact Daylight Saving Time or ignore it, and many researchers and petitioners are asking to abolish it everywhere, as the data suggest a greater toll on our health and economy.

So here’s a challenge for everyone, for any day, about how to not stress over time. Think of small things you can do with your day to pull in some extra time.  Couldn’t you save that infamous Daylight Saving Time hour you lost? Once you get creative, you might start enjoying the challenge. I think what frustrates most of us is that we feel like our time isn’t our own, particularly at work. But wouldn’t it be nice if every worker took a stand and implemented some new strategies?

I can’t change the fact that the Great State of California continues to recognize this silly practice. So, what to do, besides working in some small strategies? Put “time” into a different perspective. 

I have been feeling stressed about time since last Friday, when I lapsed in my dedication to write each day about “what not to stress about” and of course, I haven’t written anything. Why? I was feeling like time was getting the better of me — between researching for a potential new job, preparing for interviews, preparing for travel, and suddenly feeling a huge cold coming on. I felt like time was something I needed more of.

So, here are a few time-related topics that got to me over the last few days — and here is my perspective on how to reframe these:

Friday — I was fretting over getting some résumés sent out because “I said I would” and I was getting ready to go to a cocktail party, which had me thinking more about what to wear. Okay, so who exactly was going to read those résumés over the weekend?

Saturday — I woke up with a very bad sore throat, which in my world usually is a precursor to an upper respiratory infection. I threw all my herbal remedies at it, all day, but kept thinking about how much time I was wasting by feeling sick, how much of a slacker I was for sitting around taking care of myself. Well guess what… I felt better the next day so was all that time really wasted? Hadn’t I accomplished something quite marvelous by lessening my symptoms and promoting my own health?!

Sunday — Ah, the first day of the dreaded Daylight Saving Time. I actually did not notice it because I was feeling more tired from the onset of a cold. Since I had gone to bed early and slept a tad later, I didn’t feel it at all. And I didn’t stress about the fact that I knew that waking up tomorrow (today) was probably going to find me grumpy and quite off my rhythm.  I just let that go.

Today — Now I am feeling the full effects of losing that hour of sleep. And yes, I am grumpy. But who cares? I can set my own schedule and I know tomorrow will be better. I also saw a beautiful interview with Valerie Harper, of Mary Tyler Moore Show fame, where she bravely talked about her recent diagnosis of terminal brain cancer. I thought to myself, “Time is fleeting, precious, extraordinary, and here with me RIGHT NOW.”

So with that, I am going out into the day with an amazing appreciation of time.

I’m not worrying about my stray grays poking through my natural brown hair today. Well, perhaps there are a few more than what most would consider “stray.” But still, hair color and aging are not worth agonizing over.

Nope, not gonna stress about gray hair.

I have been growing out my hair for 16 months and that process alone is insane. Thankfully, I’ve been pulling it back into a ponytail, keeping the ragged layers out of sight. Of course, doing this exposes the relatively few grays I have around my forehead. Right now, there is no good solution to hide this hot mess.

But who cares? Think about all the modern advances we enjoy in haircare that women didn’t have 100 years ago. I won’t stress about gray hair that I can actually dye and hide, even if it’s not forever and I have to shell out money and time every couple of months.

Today, I’m embracing the gray. Until tomorrow, when I will finally go see my hairstylist, who will undoubtedly give me a lecture on the craziness hanging from my head!

Okay, so I realize the title of this blog post may actually induce stress… so why am I writing about this when I promised a month of daily posts on what NOT to stress about?

Because sometimes it helps when you realize you’re not alone. Sometimes knowing that this isn’t a specific issue/challenge/problem with YOU can allow you to rest easier.

The American Psychological Association released its annual survey of employees and the news is not pretty. Only 51% of American workers feel that their employer values them, their dedication, their Herculean efforts, their body of work. And the list goes on but you get the gist.

Most people feel like they are trudging through their jobs at the whim of their employers. If you are experiencing this, know that this likely isn’t your own doing. Many other qualified, dedicated workers feel this way. So when you feel stressed out by your (fill in the blank — smartphone, manager, subordinate, deadline, do-nothing coworker, commute, crappy benefits, barrage of meetings)… stop beating yourself up about it.

Because women do tend to beat themselves up. They internalize their stress and frustration, leading to thoughts of “why can’t I fix this?”  Well, you can’t fix it.

And since you can’t fix it, allow it to be what it is, and accept the insanity. Continue to do good work and don’t berate yourself.

Today’s “what not to stress about” topic is grammar. Not necessarily for me, but for others who worry about their ability to write in a public forum. Because so many people feel horribly inadequate about this aptitude, and often this is due to others who sneer at their failings.

What if someone belittled me because I could no longer remember how to solve quadratic equations? Or I couldn’t read bass clef? Or I couldn’t field a ground ball? I’m not good at any of these things but most people would not attack me for my deficits. And yet, as a society, we tend to make fun of people who struggle with spelling and grammar.

Actually, I used to be one such person — quick to judge and even quicker to point out mistakes. I’ve loosened this attitude quite a lot over the years but I must confess I still notice mistakes, even if I keep silent. I’ve come to see strong grammar skills as something I happen to blessed with, not something that makes me better than anyone else. And I’m far from perfect. I’ve been known to completely rewrite a long, unwieldy sentence to avoid potentially misusing “whom.”  I was woefully misinformed about the proper use of hyphens until about 10 years ago. And I continue to keep a handy copy of The Chicago Manual of Style at my desk to help out at a moment’s notice.

But what if you struggle with grammar? Is it THAT important in life? Well, it depends.

If you are job hunting, the answer is a resounding yes. Even if you are applying for a job where you don’t need to speak or write, it’s the first filter used.  I don’t see this ever going away. If you are writing in a public forum, as part of your professional job, or as a student, the answer is still yes.

But is it a hard and fast requirement to be a thought leader in business? Even business leaders disagree on how far we need to take the importance of grammar. This HBR article tries to put some quasi-data behind the argument, positing that fewer grammatical mistakes in LinkedIn profiles correlated with greater career promotability. But this was a limited evaluation that cannot be applied to the broader business population. There are so many unanswered questions.

Do we really know if the top business leaders of the last 30 years could write accurately?  Were their internal communications all perfect? And did they type these directly or hand them off to someone else who edited on their behalf? Did they send emails with all lowercase for speed and efficiency? Did they use phrases like “r u finished” in their texts? Did they employ research assistants to aid in writing that book? We can’t assume that the use of correct grammar in conversation directly translates to writing chops. I have known many people in my career who were polished when presenting to an audience but had hapless writing skills.

But for today, let’s not stress about it… this goes for writers and readers. If you feel like you could use some coaching on your grammar, seek out guidance. If you tend to judge people on grammar no matter what the context (if you correct your friend’s grammar on a frivolous Facebook post or if you point out every flaw in a family member’s just-writing-to-say-hi emails — this IS you), just relax and let it go.

Choose to enjoy life and take the grammar challenges one step at a time.

When I read a recent article on what not to stress about, I got inspired.  I certainly could use some help in eliminating a few of life’s stressors (couldn’t we all) so I decided to banish some for good.

And I am going to do so every day, for the entire month of March. Since I’m already 4 days into March, I will list my first 4 stressors to go:

1.  The weeds growing in my backyard.  I hate weeds.  And I know I’m too compulsive about them. I will pull out the green ones that most people might think are purchased plants.  So I’m not worrying about the overgrown sections in my backyard. Not today.

2.  How much (little) time I spend job hunting. I know most people don’t enjoy the process but in my case, it is a situation that I was prepared for, so why fret? Besides, making a few targeted connections is far more valuable than searching somewhat aimlessly. And if you understand and appreciate the networking process, you can actually be far more productive. My time is valuable, and I’m going with the flow on this one.

3.  That I broke a dish today, one of my favorite little bowls that fit so perfectly in my hand. Oh well… I was irritated that I broke it while attempting to make a maneuver with both hands full. It was not the smartest move. But, it broke cleanly in my sink, so minimal cleanup (always a good thing). There will be other tiny bowls in my future!

4.  Being late by 1 day paying a bill.  This was initially irritating — I’m so organized about money and payments, and my synesthesia brain tends to always remember when to pay something that isn’t already automated. Then again, I think the last time this happened I was 26, and it was a rare occasion even then.  I think I will let my past history lift my spirits on this one; I can still brag to myself about this longstanding track record.